Heh well If it was one of the Pendragons, I'm sure it's fine, as long as Merlin doesn't overhear it and pass it on to the Knights for a laugh. They a bit overprotective of their King...s.
If it wasn't one of the Pendragons, you definitely don't want that getting back to... any of them.
[Can you imagine being chased by a horde of either angry Knights of the Round table, or Artoria Pendragons?]
[But, well. Things were kinda of... in a weird situation with Ozymandias. He'd gotten called out on the 'Destroying the Nose of the Sphinx' legend and now he was part of Ozzy's... Harem, apparently?? As compensation??
He was perfectly comfortable with women, but not exactly super experienced with other men.
And he wasn't sure if this was just the God King's shit posting or an attempt to flirt with him.]
Sometimes that's the point, you know? I don't care about the taste, I just want something that will make the whole ordeal easier and faster to get through.
Considering I had to look up "how much alcohol does it take to kill a human" in the wee hours of the morning, I would be surprised if they hadn't started arranging a funeral for you.
Considering you forgot where we lived, I'm not holding your memory as the most reliable source for what happened last night. I was honestly surprised you could remember your own name.
[Really Kanoa?? Chastising your own papa like this???]
Even if I had forgotten the way home, which I didn't, mind you, Persian would have seen me back easily enough. There was no need for you to come all the way Malie to get me.
I'm more worried about your liver than your ability to make it home in one piece. If you're making me suffer this miserable existence, then it's only fair I return the favor.
[DON’T TURN THIS ON HIM OLD MAN! He didn’t want to have to break out his secret weapon, but his his hand has been forced.]
Look, I’m not saying don’t drink. I can’t say I wouldn’t be the same or worse if there was something I could drink to forget things for a little while. But my time with you is limited as it is. I don’t need you rushing to an early grave too.
[Oh no. Oh no, he taught the boy too well, now he knows to aim right for his poor old man heart-]
Kanoa...
Look. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Someone still has to look after you and Acerola, after all, before ONE of you decides to go making life choices even I wouldn't approve of.
Again.
[Nevermind that Tapu Bulu wouldn't let him throw his life away even if he did want to. He knows. He already tried, once upon a time.]
[But that's the last thing either of his kids ever needs to learn about him, so...]
Of course you wouldn’t know, you can’t even remember last night at all!
[Not that he wanted him to remember him frantically trying to figure out how to deal with a drunk human! But hoo boy he was not great at it.
But ah, he might be… uh… mean. He’s so bad at this, dammit! He didn’t want that, but also someone had to go and bring up his own bad life choices.]
I’m not aspiring for godhood again anytime soon. You don’t have to keep bringing it up. I’d say I’m better at trying to obliterate myself than you are, but I couldn’t even pull that off after 400 years.
[It might have come off mean, but it's not like that wasn't warranted, either. Tapu know Nanu would have been - and in fact HAD been - just as harsh when Kanoa scared the shit out of him...]
[Good thing Nanu's not home yet for the kid to see his defeated slump, but there's a sad smile on his face despite it all, too.]
The difference here being I'm not actually trying to "obliterate" myself. That meeting just [...] got me a bit heated, is all.
I'm not good company but I'd at least have made better food.
[This is him attempting being supportive. He's not great at it. He's aware of this. And there's a solid five minutes of the little "typing" notification popping on and off, like he's writing a paragraph, but no. After an awkward dely from his last line he sends out:]
I was worried.
[THERE. HE ADMITTED IT WITHOUT BEING AN ASS.]
[...]
[Dammit why can't you delete things you've already sent!? It probably looks stupid! They weren't even talking about that anymore! UUUUuuuUUUUuuUGHHH.]
[Tragically, papa isn't here to watch this brat having a crisis over an incredibly mundane text message. It's hilarious.]
Oh come on, give yourself more credit than that. I prefer your company to almost anyone else on the island, by a long shot.
And it's not just because you started cooking for me, although that didn't hurt.
Besides, the last thing I want to do is bog you down with my shitty problems when you need to be enjoying this second chance for a normal life, you know?
[...of course, all that said...]
I'm sorry I worried you, kiddo. I'll be more careful, I promise.
If I grab some High Roller Sushi on the way home, will you forgive me?
Aren't "shitty problems" part of a normal life too? If all I have to look forward to is everything just working out and being pleasant all the time, please tell me now so I can throw myself in a furnace.
[...]
From the place with that really good tea?
[You know that really bitter tea that he drinks black like a little edgelord? That tea, right?]
Edited (made a /big mistake) 2023-01-22 05:33 (UTC)
You're going to find your own shitty problems, like any crabby teenager does. You don't need those of some old man hanging over your head on top of that.
Of course, if you're really worried about me, I guess you can sit in on the next conference I have with the boys out in Malie, but I'm not kidding about it being an exercise in aggravation.
[The dry smile can't be seen, but.]
I still don't know how you can drink that stuff. But yeah, that one.
I'm not a teenager. I am literally several times older than you.
[He says, acting like a petulant teenager.]
It can't be worse than the Fatui banquets. I ever tell you about those? Just endless scheming, backstabbing, and trying to get out of missions they didn't like. It was fascinating.
Acerola!? She's like what? 12? I've seen wars I know ancient arts that people though died out centuries ago I'm a creation of a god! I'm far more mature than she is!
[Because being a walking history book totally counts as maturity. Mature means old, and therefore mature. Yup. And his need to aggressively assert this is definitely a point in his favor.]
Then why do all your friends say you're where I get it from?
Acerola was granted Elite Four membership for a reason, and also doesn't go around trying to aggressively convince people she's more mature than she actually is.
But you know, useless little details.
And hell if I know, because you sure didn't get this attitude and bad taste in tea from me.
[YES HE'S ABSOLUTELY DOING THIS ON PURPOSE. His only regret is that he can't be there to see Kanoa's face as he furiously types all that into his phone...]
[Right in Nanu's poor heart... It's another few moments before the rest of this goes through, but.]
You've always belonged here. And you always will. I need you to try and keep that in mind, alright? Because even after I finally kick the bucket, this place is still your home, and I'm relying on you to look after everything for me when I can't.
Now clean up the kitchen for me and feed the Meowths, I'll be home with dinner in about 20 minutes.
Yeah yeah Don't worry, I'll take care of this place No dying anytime soon though. I'm getting every last year I can out of you So ease up on the drinking
[He's actually smiling though. He'd tell his father how much this life meant to him someday... not now though. Definitely not ready yet, but someday.]
After last night I should leave that to you But I guess I'll go easy on you It'll be taken care of by the time you get home
[He doesn’t respond for a few minutes, just smiling at that last line. He could just leave it at that… but there was one story he could send Nanu that he knew would make him happy.]
You know, when I was with the blacksmiths in Tatarasuna Back before I could mimic or even understood human mannerisms They would give me tea And I would always drink it They must have thought I loved the stuff But really I just kept accepting it because they kept giving it to me Meanwhile I kept wondering how long I had to drink it before it started tasting better
[That’s right, this boy not only went through one cup of tea waiting for it to taste better, he accepted cup after cup… thinking that one day it’s wouldn’t taste bad.
He figured his father needed one embarrassing story from his younger years to hold on to. He loves you too, papa.]
Edited (I hate phone tagging but also don’t want to get out of bed) 2023-01-23 19:21 (UTC)
[Honestly, he figured his last text would have been the end of the exchange, but...]
[Well. Hard to read through this and not grin, shaking his head.]
Still too young to know how to say "no" back then, huh? Except now I'm not sure if I should be proud or concerned that you've kept drinking garbage for this long regardless.
I sure hope that if I give you something you end up not liking, you at least tell me so. Dump it in the trash in full view of me or something, I don't know.
It wasn't even that I genuinely thought it would eventually taste better I couldn't imagine people that people would drink something like that willingly Now I just like it for what it is Bland and bitter Feels like I'm cheapening it if I add sugar or something It's fine as it is Why try to mask something bitter?
[And he might not be talking entirely about the tea at the end there. His need to relate himself to a shitty drink is his own business really.
But speaking of uncontained bitterness...]
Papa I need to know what gave you the impression that I haven't learned to speak my mind From my understanding I've developed the opposite problem You sure you want me to sit in on your next meeting? Or is that exactly why you want me to sit in on your next meeting?
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sasageyo2023-01-20 10:07 pm
Archer (EMIYA) | Fate/Stay Night: UBW | OTA
2. I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
3. Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
4. Text him
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Was this one of the Pendragons or someone else?
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[And the above wasn't?!]
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If it wasn't one of the Pendragons, you definitely don't want that getting back to... any of them.
[Can you imagine being chased by a horde of either angry Knights of the Round table, or Artoria Pendragons?]
1
Ozymandias | Fate/Grand Order | OTA
2. he took off my pants and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
3. this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
4. Text him.
2.
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[ Sorry her fox nature's just. Like this. ]
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I see my efforts of impressing you are being swept away by the currrents of the Nile.
Which means I need to continue to do so in person and never fail!
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Your person alone does wonders in filling my days with light.
3.
Oui, I'm sure it is, your Majesty.
[But, well. Things were kinda of... in a weird situation with Ozymandias. He'd gotten called out on the 'Destroying the Nose of the Sphinx' legend and now he was part of Ozzy's... Harem, apparently?? As compensation??
He was perfectly comfortable with women, but not exactly super experienced with other men.
And he wasn't sure if this was just the God King's shit posting or an attempt to flirt with him.]
Nanu | Pokemon | OTA
2. And we're now at 8 people from the main office coming up to ask me "do you feel better?"
3. I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too.
4. He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
4.
[He's not sure himself- the original wasn't very inclined to drink alcohol, and if he did, not vodka.]
Isn't it rather tasteless without something to mix it with?
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No way was I dealing with any of that sober.
2
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["Remember" being the key word here—]
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I was honestly surprised you could remember your own name.
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Even if I had forgotten the way home, which I didn't, mind you, Persian would have seen me back easily enough. There was no need for you to come all the way Malie to get me.
Not that I don't appreciate that you did.
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I'm more worried about your liver than your ability to make it home in one piece.
If you're making me suffer this miserable existence, then it's only fair I return the favor.
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[DON’T TURN THIS ON HIM OLD MAN! He didn’t want to have to break out his secret weapon, but his his hand has been forced.]
Look, I’m not saying don’t drink. I can’t say I wouldn’t be the same or worse if there was something I could drink to forget things for a little while.
But my time with you is limited as it is. I don’t need you rushing to an early grave too.
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Kanoa...
Look. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Someone still has to look after you and Acerola, after all, before ONE of you decides to go making life choices even I wouldn't approve of.
Again.
[Nevermind that Tapu Bulu wouldn't let him throw his life away even if he did want to. He knows. He already tried, once upon a time.]
[But that's the last thing either of his kids ever needs to learn about him, so...]
I didn't know you were worried.
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[Not that he wanted him to remember him frantically trying to figure out how to deal with a drunk human! But hoo boy he was not great at it.
But ah, he might be… uh… mean. He’s so bad at this, dammit! He didn’t want that, but also someone had to go and bring up his own bad life choices.]
I’m not aspiring for godhood again anytime soon. You don’t have to keep bringing it up.
I’d say I’m better at trying to obliterate myself than you are, but I couldn’t even pull that off after 400 years.
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[Good thing Nanu's not home yet for the kid to see his defeated slump, but there's a sad smile on his face despite it all, too.]
The difference here being I'm not actually trying to "obliterate" myself. That meeting just [...] got me a bit heated, is all.
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If you wanted to talk about it.
I mean
You probably didn't.
Hence the drinking I guess.
I'm not good company but
I'd at least have made better food.
[This is him attempting being supportive. He's not great at it. He's aware of this. And there's a solid five minutes of the little "typing" notification popping on and off, like he's writing a paragraph, but no. After an awkward dely from his last line he sends out:]
I was worried.
[THERE. HE ADMITTED IT WITHOUT BEING AN ASS.]
[...]
[Dammit why can't you delete things you've already sent!? It probably looks stupid! They weren't even talking about that anymore! UUUUuuuUUUUuuUGHHH.]
[Tragically, papa isn't here to watch this brat having a crisis over an incredibly mundane text message. It's hilarious.]
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And it's not just because you started cooking for me, although that didn't hurt.
Besides, the last thing I want to do is bog you down with my shitty problems when you need to be enjoying this second chance for a normal life, you know?
[...of course, all that said...]
I'm sorry I worried you, kiddo. I'll be more careful, I promise.
If I grab some High Roller Sushi on the way home, will you forgive me?
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[He says but he's actually smiling over it.]
Aren't "shitty problems" part of a normal life too?
If all I have to look forward to is everything just working out and being pleasant all the time, please tell me now so I can throw myself in a furnace.
[...]
From the place with that really good tea?
[You know that really bitter tea that he drinks black like a little edgelord? That tea, right?]
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Of course, if you're really worried about me, I guess you can sit in on the next conference I have with the boys out in Malie, but I'm not kidding about it being an exercise in aggravation.
[The dry smile can't be seen, but.]
I still don't know how you can drink that stuff. But yeah, that one.
What do you say?
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I am literally several times older than you.
[He says, acting like a petulant teenager.]
It can't be worse than the Fatui banquets.
I ever tell you about those?
Just endless scheming, backstabbing, and trying to get out of missions they didn't like.
It was fascinating.
I tell you over sushi
:)
[There's his answer.]
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[SAID WITH ALL THE LOVE IN HIS HEART, REALLY.]
You got yourself a deal, though.
Who knows, maybe I'll tell you about some stories from my days in Interpol in return.
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I'm far more mature than some human welp that hasn't even seen their second decade.
[Like drinking his tea black! COULD A CHILD DO THAT? HUH PAPA?]
If you were even half as much trouble then as you are now
I want to hear every single story you have.
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I don't know about that. Acerola may have one up on you on the maturity front.
And I'm hurt that would would think I've ever caused ANY trouble in my life, truly.
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She's like what?
12?
I've seen wars
I know ancient arts that people though died out centuries ago
I'm a creation of a god!
I'm far more mature than she is!
[Because being a walking history book totally counts as maturity. Mature means old, and therefore mature. Yup. And his need to aggressively assert this is definitely a point in his favor.]
Then why do all your friends say you're where I get it from?
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But you know, useless little details.
And hell if I know, because you sure didn't get this attitude and bad taste in tea from me.
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I'm not going around aggressively trying to convince people
I'm just reminding you because you're hassling me over it
[waaaait a minute.]
You're doing this on purpose aren't you?
[You know what, just for that he's going to kick dearest papa in his weakspot again.]
I absolutely got my attitude from you.
But that's alright
I feel like I'm where I belong now.
1/2
[YES HE'S ABSOLUTELY DOING THIS ON PURPOSE. His only regret is that he can't be there to see Kanoa's face as he furiously types all that into his phone...]
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[Right in Nanu's poor heart... It's another few moments before the rest of this goes through, but.]
You've always belonged here. And you always will. I need you to try and keep that in mind, alright? Because even after I finally kick the bucket, this place is still your home, and I'm relying on you to look after everything for me when I can't.
Now clean up the kitchen for me and feed the Meowths, I'll be home with dinner in about 20 minutes.
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Don't worry, I'll take care of this place
No dying anytime soon though.
I'm getting every last year I can out of you
So ease up on the drinking
[He's actually smiling though. He'd tell his father how much this life meant to him someday... not now though. Definitely not ready yet, but someday.]
After last night I should leave that to you
But I guess I'll go easy on you
It'll be taken care of by the time you get home
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I love you too, kiddo.
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You know, when I was with the blacksmiths in Tatarasuna
Back before I could mimic or even understood human mannerisms
They would give me tea
And I would always drink it
They must have thought I loved the stuff
But really I just kept accepting it because they kept giving it to me
Meanwhile I kept wondering how long I had to drink it before it started tasting better
[That’s right, this boy not only went through one cup of tea waiting for it to taste better, he accepted cup after cup… thinking that one day it’s wouldn’t taste bad.
He figured his father needed one embarrassing story from his younger years to hold on to. He loves you too, papa.]
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[Well. Hard to read through this and not grin, shaking his head.]
Still too young to know how to say "no" back then, huh? Except now I'm not sure if I should be proud or concerned that you've kept drinking garbage for this long regardless.
I sure hope that if I give you something you end up not liking, you at least tell me so. Dump it in the trash in full view of me or something, I don't know.
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I genuinely thought it would eventually taste better
I couldn't imagine people that people would drink something like that willingly
Now I just like it for what it is
Bland and bitter
Feels like I'm cheapening it if I add sugar or something
It's fine as it is
Why try to mask something bitter?
[And he might not be talking entirely about the tea at the end there. His need to relate himself to a shitty drink is his own business really.
But speaking of uncontained bitterness...]
Papa
I need to know what gave you the impression that I haven't learned to speak my mind
From my understanding I've developed the opposite problem
You sure you want me to sit in on your next meeting?
Or is that exactly why you want me to sit in on your next meeting?