Valentine's Meme

[angriff]

VALENTINE'S DAY MEME

Time to start making those Valentine's Day plans! What's that you say? There's still three more weeks to go? That's not important, stop changing the subject. The point is that plans need to be made, because chocolate. And also love. Choose a scenario or roll one randomly. Don't forget to put your shipping preferences in the subject line!

1. JUST AS PLANNED! - You know exactly who's getting chocolate this holiday. In fact, this is something you've been planning a long time in advance. Chocolate winds up in their hands, either in a locker or on a doorstep etc., and all you have to do now is wait for their response.

2. WRONG LOCKER - Switched numbers, an incompetent deliveryman, whatever. The point is, that chocolate went to someone else entirely. Will this be awkward? Or is it horrible cupidic fate?

3. TRADITION SCHMADITION - Chocolate is overrated, and your loved one deserves something a little better than that. Or maybe they're just diabetic. In any case, your gift is unique and special to show how much you care.

4. EVERYTHING IS RUINED!!! - Just as you were ready to gift someone with your chocolate, you saw them making out with someone else instead. What a heartbreak! Do you eat the chocolate by yourself? Or do you pass it on to the first person you come across?

5. ONE CHOCOLATE TO RULE THEM ALL - Oh ho, so the person you like already has countless chocolate gifts. How do you make yours stand out? By throwing the competition chocolate INTO THE GARBAGE. Bwah ha ha, now your chocolate stands alone! All's fair in love and war.

6. EVIL CHOCOLATE - You want to make sure you have the best Valentine's Day ever, so you miiiight have sneaked a little (or a lot) of aphrodisiacs into that box of truffles. Or maybe you just bought the wrong box on accident. Either way, that chocolate is up to no good.

7. OBLIGATION CHOCOLATE - There's no one in particular you're crushing on, so you just gave chocolate to everyone to make sure no one feels lonely or left out. Will they accept it for the good deed you intended it to be, or will they read more deeply into the gesture than you realized?

8. I HATE!!!! - Valentine's Day is just a corporate attempt to bleed the masses of their hard-earned cash. THROW THE CHOCOLATE ON THE GROUND!

9. PRANK CHOCOLATE - "Why does this chocolate taste like toothpaste...? :X" Because that's what you WANTED it to taste like! Ha ha ha, suckers! You just wanted to spread a little mischief (or revenge).

10. REGIFT - You got more chocolate than you know what to do with. So why not redistribute some of it and spread the love? You may unintentionally (or not so unintentionally) wind up playing cupid as a result, if you left the old card attached. Or maybe you just wanted someone else to share the wealth, which they mistake as a gesture of love.

11. YOINK! - No one got you any chocolate, so you're going to play Robin Hood and give chocolate to yourself at the expense of someone who has more than enough. Hopefully you won't get caught. (Which means you probably will.)

12. UNDELIVERED - You thought you were ready. You have the perfect gift, the perfect note, and a heart fit to burst with love and admiration. But when the moment came, your spine crumbled. Fail. So what are you going to do now, sad sack? Mope on a bench and hope someone comes along to lift your spirits, or try again?

13. WILDCARD/YOUR CHOICE

BONUS ROUND - Chocolate Effects

There's no reason the chocolate can't be normal chocolate, but if you want to give it an extra kick, here's a list of side effects that the chocolates can inflict upon the consumer.

1. Coconut will cause you to do anything for attention from the first person you talk to.
2. Vanilla initiates a traditional "I'm suddenly in love with you" scenario.
3. Truffle causes physical attraction only. Feelings of lust.
4. Maple Nut makes you want to stalk someone.
5. Raspberry has you crushin' hard on a person, but you keep it a secret as much as you can!
6. Caramel has you decide to ask someone out on a casual date. No immense feelings.
7. Mint causes you to decide a person is your BEST FRIEND EVER. To what degree is up to you.
8. Lemon causes HATEFUL feelings.
9. Chocolate Creme inspires you to kiss the first person you see.
10. Too much of a good thing means you end up eating two chocolates. Roll twice to determine which two you eat. If you get #10 again, add a third chocolate, a fourth, etc. Two of the same chocolate doubles the intensity.